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How to Date and Find a Chinese Wife—Tips for a Successful Romance

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If you’re wondering how to date a Chinese woman, well, that’s understandable. First, these ladies are great — beautiful, a bit submissive, respectful, etc. Second, they are still very different, even taking into account the Westernization and the fact that lots of them often travel abroad and speak English. They are different — and that’s why it’s very logical for you to think that dating a Chinese lady is not that easy. Well, it really isn’t that simple — these women are used to different things than American women are used to, and of course, they expect their men to be different from Chinese guys. What does it mean to you? We’ll tell you right here!

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How to talk to a Chinese woman?

how to talk to chinese woman

Let’s make it clear from the very beginning: not all Chinese women know English. Unfortunately, we can’t even say that half of them do, and if we’re talking about fluent spoken English, the numbers drop even further. But you shouldn’t worry about it at all — if you use special Chinese mail bride services, you’ll only find girls who can speak English without any problems (well, except for the accent, but it’s actually kinda cute). There are thousands of women who live in the biggest Chinese cities (Beijing, Shanghai, Chongqing, etc.), know English well, and see nothing wrong with dating a laowai. Let’s go straight to the tips.

First, try to keep the conversation flowing. You’ll be in control of the conversation on the first date. You know, even when a girl is into you, she can wait for you to give her something to go on — it’s not that common when it comes to Chinese ladies, but still, you’ll need to talk about something. However, not all the topics are ok, especially when it comes to dating a girl from China — so avoid talking about politics, religion, and economics. Talking about your ex will not work well, too, as well as discussing finances or sexual experience.

Then, don’t forget to tell her compliments. Point is, Chinese ladies love to hear that they are attractive. It’s something like a rule in China — almost all these women are extremely hot, but they all want to have even longer legs and lighter skin. So, how do you benefit from knowing this? Well, it’s very simple: you can focus on her light skin, long legs, narrow face, and long lashes. We’re totally sure that you’ll find your girlfriend extremely attractive, so you can just tell her about her beauty and voila, it’s done — you’ll get your brownie points right away.

Ask questions! It’s all about questions — they are great icebreakers, and they are the perfect way to connect with a woman. Get her talking about herself, talk about yourself, too, talk about hobbies, dreams, favorite things and places, special people (but not about exes, please)… There are lots of cool questions that will help you to break the ice on your first meeting.

After all, she is a woman from another side of the world, so there are definitely lots of cool things for you to talk about. But try to avoid all those, you know, stereotypical questions about Chinese culture and language, ’cause it can look a little weird. Talk about these things only if you’re really interested and already know something about them. But it’s not a rule.

Be careful with jokes. Here’s how it works: Chinese love humor, and they are quite good at it. But the thing is, their jokes are different from the American ones. Thus, your girlfriend will most likely not get your puns and wordplay jokes, and you’ll most likely won’t get her jokes (if you are not a fluent Chinese speaker, of course). What’s more, many Chinese brides might feel insulted by your sarcasm or black humor, so, as we’ve said, be careful with this whole humor thing when you’re having a date with a lady from China.

Try to learn some Chinese. Well, let’s make it clear: saying “Nihao” (Mandarin for “hello”) is not enough; what’s more, it won’t give you any brownie points. If you want to impress her with your non-existent Chinese skills, it just won’t work — but if you’re really into the Chinese language, she’ll most likely be impressed!

chinese brides

Top 3 tips that will help you date a Chinese brides and girlfriends

You now know quite a lot about Chinese women for marriage and serious relationships. And we would like to help you have the best online dating experience. So, check out 3 top dating tips that will make your date with a Chinese girl unforgettable, easy, and enjoyable!

  1. Learn something about Chinese culture. While learning Chinese can be an exceptionally difficult and rather ineffective process, knowing a few facts about China can actually help you have a better first date with your potential bride. By learning modern Chinese culture, you can have a better understanding of what your date seeks and expects from you.
  2. Don’t be too pushy. Chinese women, like many Asian ladies, are rather timid and shy. So, being overly active and pushy can have a negative impact. While you may desire to show how confident and assertive you are, your date may feel under severe pressure and decide to stop seeing you whatsoever. This, however, doesn’t concern girls from the Philippines or Thailand, as they are usually more easy-going.
  3. Be open for communication. It is very important to show that you wish to learn something new about your date and that you are willing to tell her something about yourself. It can be rather difficult to find the perfect approach for communication with Chinese girlfriends and brides.

How to compliment a Chinese lady?

The Western ideas are not always relevant when it comes to complimenting Chinese women. This means that you’ll have to say different things in China from what you used to say in the United States. Thus, we highly recommend saying something about her delicate skin, about her bright and shiny eyes, etc, etc. The list of the compliments is extremely long when it comes to Chinese ladies, actually — and you don’t have to worry that you can, you know, overdo the compliments. Point is, the compliments are extremely important for Chinese women, so it’s almost impossible to overdo them. By the way, your girlfriend will most likely reply saying that it’s not true, but it’s just another Chinese thing.

When to kiss a Chinese woman?

kiss a chinese woman

Want to know when to kiss her? Well, it’s not that simple. Point is, these ladies are not like American women. You can’t just kiss your Chinese girlfriend on the very first date, because that’s not how it works in this country. The second date is most likely too early to kiss her, too. The third one will be ok, but don’t forget that it’s not a rule and each Chinese lady is unique — some of them are more open-minded and positive to the relationship, while the others are quite conservative. And forget about public displays of affection, at least while you’re still in China.

What do Chinese ladies like?

As we’ve said, the dating culture in this country is different from the American one. However, some things remain the same — so let’s talk about what do these ladies love and what should you do to impress them on the first date.

  • They love gifts. It’s not something Chinese, actually — gifts will work great in every country with traditional society, and China is not an exception. It doesn’t mean that you should buy her something expensive, of course. It’s not about the price you’ve paid; it’s about showing your attraction — just buy a perfume, a teddy bear, or something like that, and she’ll understand that you are interested in her. A bouquet of flowers will work perfectly, too!
  • They love when man shows some respect. Nothing to say here — respect her, respect her family, and you’ll get a lot of brownie points.
  • They love when the man plans the date. They see their men as the leaders, so it makes some sense that you’ll have to be the leader, too. Well, it’s not that difficult, actually.
  • They love when a man doesn’t rush. It’s not the US where you can easily find a one-night stand or a girl who will love to become friends with benefits with you. In this country, you will have to make it slow — and of course, forget about sex on the first date. If you are patient, you’ll be rewarded!
chinese mail order wife

What do Chinese brides and girlfriends expect from American guys?

Knowing what your potential date expects from you is exceptionally important, as you could adapt your whole dating game and avoid mistakes and problems. If you want to know how to date a Chinese mail order bride and girlfriend, this section will show you what expectations these girls have!

Chinese girls expect Western men to be generous

Indeed, these ladies would expect you to send flowers, gifts, and pay for everything. You don’t need to spend a fortune on a date, but you will need to show that you can do it if you want to be successful.

Chinese ladies want to be with a respectful and patient man

One of the main expectations of Chinese mail order brides is to be with a guy who can respect them. If you want to be successful, you have to be patient with your dates and don’t pressure them into things they don’t want to do.

Chinese dates seek serious relationships

Women from this country want to have serious and long-term relationships. So, the first thing you need to know about how to date a Chinese woman—she is here for serious reasons! So, don’t expect casual and short-term relationships.


Once you start chatting and interacting with Chinese mail order brides and girlfriends, you will figure out how to date Chinese women online. However, this guide can offer you a proper foundation and help you have realistic and adequate expectations.

Mark Manson
Lead Author
Mark Manson is a renowned dating coach who has helped thousands of individuals around the world improve their dating lives. His approach to coaching is unique, in that he focuses on the individual rather than on specific techniques or formulas.